Robert Beck II: The days have been long and strenuous

Robert Beck II: The days have been long and strenuous

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As Robert Beck II watched the coronavirus invade state after state in the early months of 2020, the manager of two locations of the family-owned Beck Funeral Homes in Mississippi, wondered if the virus would make its way to his home state.

September arrived ... and so did the surge.

“We watched COVID spread in across the country,” the second-generation funeral director said. “And for a number of months, we thought it would not come to us. We were wrong.”

September arrived ... and so did the surge.

“It just happened ... in a blink, we were seeing triple the number of cases a week,” the 37-year-old Beck said. “It took us 10 weeks (the middle of January) before we had the first weekend without a service.”

There were so many concerns:  Would the funeral home have sufficient space? Would families have to be turned away? Could the staff stay healthy? Will caskets and vaults be available?

“It was a lot all at once,” Beck said. “We were bombarded, day went into night into day again. Luckily, we were able to serve every family that called ... it was very close (to saying no), but we were able to answer every call.”

And while several family members of employees tested positive for the coronavirus, key employees remained COVID free. “It would have been even more challenging if any of our key staff had become sick. We were stretched to our limits as it was, so it would have been very difficult to serve our families,” he said. 

With restrictions in place from federal, state and local authorities, it was difficult enough to serve grieving families, Beck noted. 

“Restrictions for grieving families are difficult,” he said. “When you have to tell a family that they can only have 10 family members inside the funeral home for the service and that you will bring in additional people 10 at a time and then escort them out quietly so another 10 people can come in, that’s really difficult for a family to understand.”

Balancing a family’s wants against what was allowed led to some stressful situations. “You don’t want families to feel that their needs aren’t being met, but at the same time, we have to abide by the restrictions. You have to be conscious of how you talk to families and deliver information they might not want to hear,” Beck said.

For Beck, that information included asking a family to sign a COVID acknowledgment form, which stated the family understood the restrictions, that any person exhibiting COVID-related symptoms not enter the funeral home and hugging and handshakes would not be allowed. “We didn’t want to sound insensitive, but we needed to explain to families what could be done – and what couldn’t be done,” he said.

Beck also asked families to delegate one person as the contact between the funeral home and the family. “With all that is going on, it was important that one person be the spokesperson,” he said. 

Adding to the stress are circumstances beyond Beck’s control. “Beyond the challenges in organizing arrangement conferences, orchestrating the family visitations and providing funeral services per orders of local and state authorities, caskets have been hard to come by through various casket companies and vault companies have been overwhelmed. My firm was forced to seek the services of another vault company because our vault company of choice has been overwhelmed,” he said.

Overwhelmed may be a good way to explain how Beck and his staff have been feeling as they work their way through the pandemic.

“When you have to meet with four families in one day, it takes a toll. When you have to tell a family that they have to wait a week or more to schedule a service, it takes a toll. When you have to do a deep cleaning of your funeral home once, if not twice a day, it takes a toll. When you worry about making sure your staff is protected, it takes a toll,” Beck said.

Add to that not being able to provide services to a family that they’ve come to expect. “Families are being forced into situations that are beyond anyone’s control. They can’t have services when they want; they can’t be comforted in ways they need; we can’t provide them with limousine services they expect,” he said. “We’re working very hard on focusing on what we can do, not what we can’t do.”

While serving families is the top priority, Beck said taking care of himself and his staff is a close second. “If we don’t take care of ourselves, who will take care of our families?” he said. For Beck personally, that means making time to eat, take a break (even if it’s just 10 minutes) whenever possible, getting a good night’s sleep (even if it’s just for a couple hours) and daily prayer.

“I have to be at my best, be able to make appropriate decisions,” he said. “Taking care of myself, even if the days are long and I’m at work seven days a week, it’s the best thing I can do for myself and the families we are privileged to serve.”

So, what has been Beck’s biggest takeaway working through a pandemic?

“Families have lost loved ones unexpectedly, and as funeral directors, it’s our job to comfort families as best as possible,” he said. “I pride myself in hard work and dedication in serving and providing the best funeral services possible for my families ... during a pandemic and every day.”

This article originally appeared in the March 2021 issue of American Funeral Director, published by Kates-Boylston Publications, and is being shared. Visit www.americanfuneraldirector.com to subscribe.






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